


Moments Dream

by AntigueGinger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Family Feels, Found Family, Guilt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Starting Over, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28782804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntigueGinger/pseuds/AntigueGinger
Summary: Darth Vader looked up at his son as he felt his life slipping away. He gazed on with his own eyes until he started to drift. The new found sanity let him think, let him dream.His last thoughts were of Padme. He would likely be damned and never see his wife... she deserved his apology and over all, to know how wonderful her children grew to be...Just one more chance-
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	1. Trigger

Darth Vader hissed, jolting awake. His blood roared in his ears and the burns that charred his skin and lungs alike seemed to freshly scorch his skin. Trying to take in his surroundings he couldn’t. The air sounded wrong, still and damp. His breathing was quick and shallow, a panic setting in. He didn't hear his ventilator. He couldn’t breath. He was cold-no- warm. Where was he? What was happening? The rebellion? Luke? No, gods he couldn't think!

He heard a voice but before he could process the sweet tones a touch on his back had him spinning. He choked his assailant. No mercy. Never mercy.

“Ani-” a woman choked and the sound had him dropping her.

Padme Amidala fell gracelessly back onto the bad. Her blue silken nightdress was one of his favorites to see on her despite her wearing it so rarely. He wanted to reach out and touch it- to touch her but when she looked up her eyes were alight with concern that burned him worse than the fire ever could.

He stepped back, stumbling into a table and knocking over a stack of folders and a vase. Padme stood and caught his hand before he could stumble back further. He looked down at her small, firm grip and shuddered. He felt her. This was real, not a ghost. He looked down at his hands. His  _ hands _ and flexed his fists. It had to be a dream.

“Must have been some dream,” she said in that way she used to have that always stripped him bare and made him feel as if she truly understood. She even swiped a thumb over his cheek.

That broke him.

He grit his teeth, not quite swallowing a sob and pulled her close. “I’m sorry,” he choked, “I’m so sorry. I should have known, the signs were so obvious. And you were pregnant but i still-” He did sob now, head buried in her shoulder. “You should have seen them Padme, they grew up so well and our daughter was just like you and Luke- Gods I’m so sorry.”

“Pregnant? Our children? Signs? Anikin, what are you talking about?”

“I- I became a sith… I killed you and I- it was so dark until..” He shuddered. “Papatine was killing him. He was killing our son. I died.. I’m supposed to be dead.”

“Maybe the force sent you back?” Her soft word made him shake his head.

He didn’t deserve a second chance. After everything he had done…

“I tried to kill my padawan.”

“Ani, hey, Ahsoka is fine. What’s going on?”

He looked up to her and sighed. “The force.”

He was going to need a drink


	2. Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé and Anakin talk

Drink in hand, Vader- no Anakin. He was Anakin again. He sat silently brooding over the possibilities. Padmé said it could be the force’s doing but now that he wasn’t in a panic it was clear she didn’t believe it herself. They were words only meant to calm her raging husband. She didn’t believe or understand a single word either of them said only moments ago. There she sat across from him, unaware of the years of pain in their future and the fact she lacked one all together. Maybe she didn’t want to see the darkness that had always lived within him. 

“You should go work on one of your projects.” His head jerked up at her words. “You’re fidgeting. You always think through things easier when you have something to do with your hands.”

She was right, as always, but he had been trained out of tinkering long ago. He’d learned to suppress the compulsion aside from repairing his own armor. Even then however, his respirator was always a constant nuisance. It had a tendency to blow away delicate screws or boards that were vital to the ever growing technological advancements. 

“You really think it was just a bad dream?”

Her brown eyes met his over the rim of her tea cup. The confusion and concern only grew. “What else would it have been Ani? I’m not pregnant and neither of us are anywhere near dead. Not to mention chancellor Palpatine is a little odd sometimes but he wouldn’t kill anyone. I told you the war was getting to you…”

“No Padmé. This was real. I remember everything. I remember feeling how you-“ the words stuck to his throat. Feeling her die. The sensation of her soul rejoining the force the moment he felt his life restart. Years he had spent pouring over that moment. The moment that should have been his end. 

She was quiet for another long moment. He only sank deeper into the cushions, remembering how much he hated the excess but now was so comforting. The entire space was so  _ her _ he wished he could just forget all of the past and live in the moment. Gods when he faced Ahsoka- or even ObiWan- he didn’t know what he would do. Grovel? Beg that his Master forgave him, plead that this time he listens to him? Or maybe it was Anakin that should just shut up and listen? Perhaps he should rescind his position as Ashoka’s master and save her the pain of a Sith Lord as her master? She said she wouldn’t leave him again but maybe that was exactly what was needed.

“Tell me about your dream.”

“Why? You don’t believe me.”

The surprised blink was the only indication. He hadn’t been this defensive before. Padmé was the one person he rarely got so defensive against. “Because you look like you’ve decided to do something impulsive and stupid. Talk to me Ani. You’ve always been able to talk to me before.”

He took another drink, emptying his glass, but when he set it down he told her. 

  
  


Padme was sure that she listened closely and took note of every inconsistency to his story. No matter what hole she found, every question she threw at him he had an answer ready. She tried to ignore the way he stayed as vague as possible for many moments in his story but the worst was probably his simple answer to her death. “Childbirth” was all that he said but the dark look in his eyes was something she knew better than to ignore. 

He was raw and exposed but she still prodded. She still questioned and pushed him until he would answer each question. Even with the anger and madness that creeped into his eyes at the topic of his last two battles with ObiWan. Even the battle he had with Ashoka the pride mingled with hatred in a way that twisted her stomach. Even then however she knew. “You’re hiding something.” It was such a simple statement. Simple enough that when he tried to deny it the lie was obvious. 

“You’re dead because of me,” the whisper made her want to sigh. He was always like this: dramatic and self-destructive. “When ObiWan left me for dead and Master saved me he manipulated the force. Even though I should have died on that table I started to feel stronger and I felt you slipping away. Officially you died giving birth to our children but…”

“So you think I died so you could live?”

“The force has to remain balanced. Even with the dark side there is a balance despite what the order would have us believe.”

“Enough of death and war. Tell me about our children.”

A gentle smile with the same soft pride he held for Ahsoka lit his eyes. “Leia was a politician, skilled with a blaster, and had nerves of steel. She’s just like you. Luke is-“ Like him. The words didn’t need to be said. The guilt was enough. “Powerful with the force, likely more than me. More combat oriented and I almost swayed him to be my apprentice. When I finally got to see him with my own eyes he was beautiful. Looked a lot like my mother.”

She tried to picture a family with Anikin. Truly, it was a dream. If they were permitted to live freely she was sure they would have one already and Ahsoka would have been formally adopted by her husband long ago. Anakin would have been such a good father. Teaching their son to fly and their daughter to read people with the force. He would have spoiled each of them Rotten and she would be helpless to stop it. A brief picture of Ani smeared with grease as he proudly presented a new toy that she would hate but the children would love flashed to mind. 

It made her heart ache. If he was right and their fate was inevitable she could never have any real life with the man she loved. She knew loving him was a doomed love but she still allowed it to happen. The start of their relationship started with mutual manipulation and this had to be the force or powers that be setting things right. 

He suddenly stood sharply and moved to the bedroom, “I should stay somewhere else until I figure out why I’m not dead.” 

No matter how she protested he ignored her and gathered all of his things and snuck out easily past the guards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Fighter

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this at work to jolt down the idea. If it's well received I'll flesh it out and expand on it.


End file.
